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Destroy All Fanboys


Are you a fanboy? Chances are pretty high that you may have been infected with the mind altering virus known as “FB”. Fanboyism! Its deadly and can permanently ruin your gamer credibility. The symptoms include severe delusion, hypocrisy, all sorts of “Tomfoolery”, vast ignorance, and pure stupidity. If you find yourself with any one of theses symptoms contact your local gamer and have him simply slap the snot out of you! If you know someone infected with “FB” stay clear of any gaming related conversation and under no circumstance should you ever attempt to debate video games with someone infected with “FB”. It may result in you hanging yourself. Slapping the snot out of them is the only course of action. Currently three strains of the “FB” virus have been identified. The Sony, Xbox, and Nintendo strains of “FB” have been identified by the CDC and tagged as extremely dangerous. Here is a breakdown of each strain of “FB”, please read carefully and follow any instructions provided. Your gamer credibility depends on it.



Known as “Xbots” by fanboys of other consoles, Xbox fanboys are probably the most delusional and self conscious of the bunch. “Xbots” are secretly depressed due to the fact that Microsoft chose to spend money and resources on the useless Kinect and bundle it with every console instead of beefing up the hardware to match their rival, Sony. “Xbots” claim that this isnt a factor due to Microsoft announcing new SDK’s and the new Directx update. “Xbots” know darn well that this will not significantly boost the consoles performance but believing so makes them feel less idiotic when they engage in the obligatory, “My console is better” pissing matches with Sony fanboys. The delusion really kicks in after Microsoft’s servers go down, effectively turning the Xbox One into a useless brick yet “Xbots” will pretend that they aren’t affected by this unfortunate mishap. Lets not forget about the “Power of the Cloud”. For “Xbots”, the “Cloud” is the Holy Grail in their war against the Son Fanboys. They believe that the “Cloud” will magically turn the Xbox One into a powerhouse console rivaling or even outperforming the Playstation 4. In the words of Shuhei Yoshida…”So stupid”.

How to fight off the “Xbot” strain: Remind Xbox fanboys that the Xbox brand is not essential or a core focus of the billion dollar giant known as Microsoft. Don’t forget to remind the “Xbots” that everything the Xbox One can do, the PS4 can do just as good and in some cases it can do it better. Like graphics. Follow that up with a slap to the face!



Probably the most annoying of the fanboy family, Nintendo fanboys or Wii U weirdos as they are known in some circles, can be very hypocritical. Nintendo fanboys swear they are the experts on what “true” gameplay looks like yet they will ignore gaming classics like Uncharted and Halo simply because they are not developed or published by Nintendo. If a game debuts and its visuals are mind blowing, the developers are immediately attacked and accused for being more focused on graphics than gameplay. Nintendo fanboys swear they want new games and more games from third parties but if that particular game doesn’t feature coins and mushrooms or feature the name Mario in the title then they will not buy it. One of the biggest problems of a Nintendo fanboy is that they refuse to criticise the very company they say they love. They will accept anything. Late games, no games, poor third party ports, no voice chat, a horrible online shop and an underpowered system, but as long as Nintendo president Satoru Iwata comes out and says…”Please understand” then all is forgiven. No harm no foul right?

How to fight off the Wii U Weirdo strain: Remind Nintendo fanboys that third party support is NEVER coming back to the Wii U and that their console is vastly underpowered. When Nintendo fanboys respond with…”Our games are better” then you remind them that the Wii U has been on the market for over 2 years and is just now becoming relevant. Thats sad. Follow that up with a slap to the face while wearing a Power Glove!



Talk about arrogant and delusional. Sony fanboys are many things but they can never be accused of having common sense. Sony fanboys are affectionately called “Ponies” and probably because they act like little girls. “Ponies” only have a few words in their vocabulary similar to ancient cavemen. “Resolution…mine…better.” (Grunt) “Ponies” find themselves to be superior to other fanboys do to owning a powerful console and take pride in their company throwing shots at the competition. “Ponies” have short memories. They forget that last generation they were stupid enough to buy a $600 dollar toaster called the PS3 with its crappy online and bad Xbox 360 ports. This is significant because it shows the “Ponies” willingness to to fall for any of Sony’s lies and tactics. “Ponies” actually thought that the PS VIta would be a hit and out perform the 3DS. Yeah…Go ahead, take a minute or two to laugh about it. Oh, and dont forget that they said the same thing about the PSP. Ha, ha, ha. Anyways, “Ponies” swear that their online is just as good as Xbox accept they seem to ignore the fact that it crashes way more frequently. Oh, and the hacks. Good Lord, the hacks!

How to fight off a “Pony”: Remind them that Sony can barely afford to pay their own light bill and not to mention that Sony’s first party titles don’t sell. Also, remind them that Sony pays their employees in food stamps. No need to follow this up with a slap to the face just shoot the damn “Pony”!

Thanks For Playing

Yes, yes, I know I was a bit harsh today but I was just poking fun at the gaming fanboys. This whole fanboy vs fanboy vs fanboy war is getting ridiculous, don’t you think? Now if I offended you I apologize but just maybe you need to lighten up and stop being a fanboy. We are all gamers and we all love this industry to a degree. Lets just enjoy gaming together and respect what others game on regardless of the console of choice. Lets just have some fun and forget about resolutions, the cloud, ultra textures and all that other crap. Just enjoy your games.

Oh yeah, hey fanboys?! Wii U Mad?

brace yourself


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WiiUmad Gamer Is Back!


Its been a couple of months since my last post on this fine an nifty blog site but dry those tears and wipe those eyes ’cause I’m back. I took some time off to take care of important matters like family, work and ya know…stuff. To be specific, I began lending my writing abilities to the nice group of folks over at http://www.30kpolygons.com. I wrote a few pretty good articles for them and I hope to at some point re-post them here. After carefull consideration, i realized how much I missed writing for WiiUmadGamers. Don’t get me wrong, I love contributing to 30k and I will continue to do so but there is nothing like being able to just be myself from an writing expression point of view, if that makes any sense. Sometimes I like to rant, sometimes I like to just talk babble, but I love writing. So Ill be writing some small articles here and there and eventually I’ll be relaunching my site with a brand new visual overhaul and added content. So, I appreciate all of the support that you guys have given me, all 3 of  you. Just kidding, but thank you for your continued support and stay tuned for brand new content coming soon.


Nintendo: The Company The Industry Needs. The Company It Doesn’t Deserve


A Seat At The Masters Table

Nintendo may not be able to walk on water but they did resurrect gaming from the dead. Look, they aren’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination but without them we would probably witness another videogame crash.



Without Nintendo There Would Be No Great Innovation

When Atari killed the industry for us westerners it was Nintendo that brought gaming back from the dead. You wouldn’t be sitting there now enjoying your PS3’s and your Xbox’s and God help me if you actually enjoy gaming on the ipad but you owe that to Nintendo as well. The house that Mario built rekindled a flame for the love of gaming with it’s very first home console. The Nintendo Entertainment System or NES for short. I know what your thinking. Why dwell on the past? That was the Nintendo of old. Today they are a former shell of themselves. Well unfortunately for the Nintendo naysayers i can prove that to be false. Bare with me.

The Super NES is regarded by many as the greatest home console of all time. Why? Well Nintendo took the NES controller and turned it into what has become the standard by which all modern controllers are based off of. Just ask Sony. Nintendo gave us unbelievable software and a piece of hardware that was second to none. Sorry Genesis fans. By all accounts the Super NES was exactly what its named implied. A Super charged NES. Everything was bigger and better.

Nintendo doesn’t seem to feel the need to stick to the same formula for two long. After the success of the Super NES, Nintendo released the Nintendo 64. A console capable of 3d graphics that featured an awkward looking yet ingenious controller design. Full analog control via the analog stick which is still standard on controllers to this day. You like how your controller rumbles when you play games? Credit that to Nintendo as well for launching StarFox 64 with the “Rumble Pack”. Speaking of software. Mario 64 and Ocarina of Time set a new standard for platforming and adventure gameplay which is still unmatched to this day. 3D action games would be nothing without the road that Mario 64 paved for them. How about multiplayer? Nintendo was the first to allow gamer’s to plug in multiple controllers to a home console for local multiplayer. Of course there were always add-on’s that allowed it but with the N64 it was standard.

Now lets look at the curious case of the Gamecube. This is the first and only Nintendo home console that didn’t pack in any new innovations. It had a weird yet perfect controller built for games like Smash Bros but it lacked any real difference from its competitors. The Gamecube actually lacked features. No DVD playback and an inferior optical disc format that held less data than XBOX and Playstation’s DVD formats. The Gamecube while profitable, didn’t fair too well against SONY and Microsoft’s consoles. Something had to change

With the Wii, Nintendo went a completely different route. They turned their backs on cutting edge visuals in favor of a new way for gamer’s to interact with the gaming world. Enter motion controls. Say what you want about Motion gaming but for a short while it was fun. Nintendo set out to attract those who had never picked up a controller before and bring back into the fold those that lost interest in the hobby. They succeeded and the sales prove it. No one cared that the Wii was inferior in every way from a power standpoint compared to it’s competitors. In the first few years of the Wii’s lifespan Nintendo brought game after game and the console was a mega success. As soon as the games stopped coming, the console died. Which brings me to my last point.

Software sells hardware. Nintendo announced a successor to the Wii last November called the Wii U. Nintendo’s goal was to continue the Wii’s legacy of offering gamer’s a new way of interacting with their game. Tablets are mega popular these days and it doesn’t seem as if that trend will end anytime soon. Nintendo integrated their new home console with that very technology. They even went a step further and added a huge social media component to the Wii U’s infrastructure. So…why isn’t the Wii U selling. Simple. The games haven’t started rolling in yet. Do you think the original Wii would have been as successful as it was i the beginning if it didn’t have the software that it did? NO. It wouldn’t have. The proof is in the way that the sales quickly declined once new software stopped being introduced. With the Wii U things seem to be the opposite. There aren’t any really strong pieces of original software for the Wii U to keep people interested and that is all Nintendo’s fault. Good news, folks. The games are coming and once they do the system will begin to sell very well. Very well.

What is the moral of this story? The gaming media sucks and it spins stories to get hits. The Wii U is not “Dead in the water” and Nintendo is not doomed. The same exact things were said about the PS3 when it launched and all it took was a price cut (Ps3 was too damn expensive) and a steady stream of games. Let’s just wait and see what Nintendo does during this years E3.  Lets just wait and see.


Simple. Nintendo can’t seem to catch a break. They are damned if they do and damned if they don’t. If they do exactly as Sony and Microsoft then everyone thinks they are doomed. If they innovate then they are doomed. People are actually saying that Nintendo should and will become a 3rd party publisher only. Lets say Nintendo does actually stop making hardware. This is what will happen. Nintendo will be out for good. They are too stubborn to make their software for competing platforms. Like it or not, loosing Nintendo is bad for the industry. Very bad. If it happens it could be the beginning of the end. What? You think Sony is going to take over the mantle of innovation? Microsoft? Electronic Arts is more likely to win “The Best Company In America” award two years straight before that happens.

Let me know what you think about today’s topic.

Wii U Mad?





This site is nothing more than a half-ass attempt by non-industry insiders to make a name for themselves. How do you justify approving articles that read like they were written by a 4th grader and flag and remove articles that have a real heart and soul behind them. N4G  is run by fan boys and girls and should not be supported. You know who should be supported? The real gaming sites out there. IGN, Gametrailers, My Nintendo news.com,  Hip Hop Gamer and any other gaming site or blog that displays passion for the gaming industry. Say what you will about the big names but at least they have put in work and earned the place they have made for themselves. If you want the news then go straight to the source and don’t support N4G  as it is an embarrassing example of what taking yourself too seriously can do. Its as if the the approval process for posting articles is run  by retarded, blind monkeys. Make no mistake, this is a RANT! I guess it’s safe to say i’ll never get another article approved on N4G again, huh? So be it.


A few months ago i was going to post this article but thought it may be too much especially coming from an unknown blogger. Well…things have changed. Here’s my problem. N4G has a terrible approval system. They let anyone who has posted more than 5 articles approve someone else’s article. In fact, you have to approve several articles before you can post your 6th one, or something like that. What that means is the person doing the approval can know everything about gaming and writing for games, or know completely nothing at all. So when i see articles get approved that are just absolutely ridiculous and give off  the vibe that the person writing the article could care less about the content, well that upsets me. Why does it upset me? It upsets me because i know that there are very talented men and women with a passion for the gaming industry who deserve to have their opinion heard but can’t because of the stupid way articles get approved on N4G. It  feels like the people who are doing the approvals just click the approval button so they can hurry up and get back to posting their own articles. I understand that N4G isn’t the only place to post gaming related news but it is probably the most well known. Anyone who is looking to get into gaming journalism can benefit greatly from having their articles posted and read on N4G. N4G has a responsibility to separate the real journalism from the bull-crap. Now i know i’m not an industry professional. I’m just a blogger that loves the gaming industry and wanted to share my thoughts from time to time. Naturally i would love for my post’s to be read by as many readers as possible. I do believe that i have some interesting thoughts on gaming that i can contribute. At least that’s my take and you may disagree. N4G often will state that they may not consider you a valid source for news or that since your not an industry professional you can’t have an opinion on anything gaming related. At least one that matters. If those are your guidelines than fine. When you start relaxing those guidelines and letting just anyone post an article and that article gets approved then that’s where the problem comes in. I remember seeing and article talking about how Nintendo needed to release a new console in 2014 in order to compete with Microsoft and Sony even though they just released the Wii U. Come on! Seriously? Anyone with any industry sense would know just how ridiculous that article is. It was poorly written and felt like it came from a person who may not know anything about what’s going on in the industry. I don’t pretend to know everything, because i don’t but i do know that articles like that one should have not been approved. Now on the other hand, if N4G is putting themselves out there to be a forum for anyone to post what ever they feel is worthy then by all means post away. If that is in deed the route N4G has chosen then why would they flag and block an article that makes absolute sense and say that since it wasn’t written by an industry professional it can’t be posted. See what i’m saying. They are flip flopping. Proving my point even further is this article that you are reading right now. At the time i posted it on N4G it immediately started getting traffic and a few approvals. This is a straight up rant with an offensive picture. Who approved this? Why would someone who is supposed to look out for N4G’s best interests approve this? Hmmm….see what i’m getting at? This article got up to 110 degrees before N4G finally took it down. If you don’t know what that means it’s basically how N4G measures traffic. The more people that read an article the higher the degrees will rise. I was then told by the admin that if i ever posted anything like this again i will never be coming back to N4G. That’s fine with me since i will never post anything there again. My tactic may have been a harsh one and a bit offensive to some, but i was just trying to make a point and i will only apologize to those that follow me if my tactic was at all offensive to you. I can only speak from the heart and i feel N4G is wrong and they need to do some restructuring and make some admin improvements. Until then, i won’t personally post anything their again.


And yes…im WiiU Mad !!!

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E3 Judgment Day : Nintendo Must Blow Gamer’s Away At This Years Show


Ok, so the overall impression of the Wii U as of right now is that its failing. It would seem as if most media outlets have written Nintendo’s newest console off and give it very little chance to succeed against Sony and Microsoft’s newest console offerings. Lets not even get into Michael Pachter’s constant badgering of Nintendo concerning the Wii U’s dismal performance thus far. What i am going to talk about is what Nintendo will absolutely need to do at E3 to turn things around. Show the games. Release the games. Show us the future. Lets get started.

UPDATED  5/18/2013

Ok, so recently Nintendo announced that they will not be hosting their typical press conference at E3 2013 instead opting to focus on smaller and more focused events. Nintendo also recently announced that sometime within a few days before E3 they would host a Nintendo Direct that would show off some of the “Big Guns” like Mario and Zelda. Even with the new info on hand i still believe more than ever that what ever they announce during E3 or decide not to announce could spell disaster for the Wii U or be its saving grace. E3 is…Judgement day for the Wii U.



Release date, please!

Nintendo held a Nintendo Direct video some time ago where they announced an amazing lineup of games that are set to release for the Wii U sometime this year. Games like Bayonetta 2, Winda Waker HD, Wonderful 101 and Pikmin 3 are just a handful of the titles that were showcased during the January Nintendo Direct. While not all of them may release in 2013 it would seem that a good majority of them might and Nintendo cant have it any other way. Its no secret that the Wii U needs games. Sure it had a pretty good lineup but most people had probably played those games already on another system. The Wii U needs exclusives and its time Nintendo started to roll them out. At E3 Nintendo needs show these games in playable form and give us an solid release.

Nintendo also dropped a few bombs on us by sharing that the newest 3d Mario title as well as Mario Kart would show up in playable form. Now that’s the kind of news that fans and media have been waiting to here. Hopefully the appearance of a huge 1st party Nintendo title like Mario can put to bed all of the nonsense being said about the Wii U not being a true next gen console in terms of visuals. We know that Nintendo has some of the most talented studios in the business employing some of the best art teams around. We can almost bet that they wont disappoint. Nintendo also mentioned the virtual console. We know that Nes, Super Nes and now  Gameboy Advance games have been added to the VC roster but what about all of the other systems that we became accustomed to buying games for on the original Wii? Nintendo will have to roll out plenty of VC games and they need to be available the week of E3. Hey Nintendo, where are my Gamecube VC games? Announcing Gamecube games for the Wii U Virtual Console would bee a huge plus for those who own the console and have been wanting to go back and revisit some of their favorite games for that old purple box. Lets just keep our fingers crossed.



What in the world have these guys been up to?

What we know so fare about the Wii U should be enough to get gamer’s excited but its not enough. We need surprises and not the Wii Music kind. First, what has Retro Studio been working on all of these years? I know they made Donkey Kong Country Returns for the Wii but i doubt that game took their entire staff and all of their resources to make. So what are they doing? It was rumored that Retro may be working on a Star Fox game for Wii U. That would be absolutely amazing and i hope its true. Could their next game be a return to the Metroid franchise? We Know Nintendo is working on that as well. What ever the game ends up being Nintendo definitely has to reveal what Retro is working on because the secrecy isn’t helping matters.

What about some of Nintendo’s other big franchises. Recently Nintendo was granted a trademark extension for the Eternal Darkness franchise. Could this be Retro’s secret game? Its good to know that Nintendo still see’s the potential in this franchise. There has also been some F-Zero talk here and there due a mini game showing up in Nintendoland. It would be great to see that franchise make a return since the Gamecube version was awesome. E3 needs to mark the return of many Nintendo franchises. Wave Race, Punch-out, and how about a new Mario Paint just mix it up a bit and give us a real reason to use that nice gamepad as a drawing tablet.



Nintendo should buy PG!

Historically when Nintedo has partnered with another developer the results are usually pretty amazing. Nintendo x Silicon Knights gave us Eternal Darkness. Nintendo x Factor 5 gave us Rouge Squadron. Nintendo x Sega gave us F-Zero GX and AX and Nintendo x Capcom gave us the Oracle games from the Game Boy Zelda series. Nintendo has continued this effort on the Wii U and have partnered up with Platinum Games to bring gamers two exclusive titles for the Wii U. The Wonderful 101 and Bayonetta two are both the result of Nintendo reaching out to developers to try and establish relationships that lead to unique content that can only be found on Nintendo’s platforms. You also have the Monolith studios which have already brought Wii fans the fantastic Xenoblade chronicles and it looks like that relationship is continuing onto the Wii U with another game in the Xeno series. Then there is Shin-Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem which should be very interesting. Nintendo needs to continue partnering with developers to bring new content to the Wii U. Even the small things like getting Nintendo themed costumes into Tekken makes owning the Wii U version feel like you’ve just purchased something special. We all know that 3rd party support for Nintendo platforms pretty much sucks ,so….



Uh…So what happened?

Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. Wait…i didn’t say anything about EA yet did i? Unfortunately for Nintendo there are games being announced by 3rd parties that still aren’t being considered for a Wii U release. Developers just seem to have any confidence in Nintendo’s system. Does Nintendo really need 3rd party support, though? I mean in the past they have done fine with using their own 1st party titles to push hardware. I think things may be a bit different this time. Nintendo wants to attract the hard core gamer’s from Sony and Microsoft and as good as Mario and Zelda are if those gamer’s wanted to play Nintendo games they would have already owned a Wii. Nintendo cannot continue to let 3rd party support slip away but must do everything in their power to convince developers that the Wii U is worth their time and effort.

A while back, Miyamoto stated that he had been personally visiting developers to try and get them on board with Wii U. That must be pretty awesome to have the legendary designer show up at your door to try and convince you to bring your games over to Nintendo’s new console. If this is true then their could be some awesome 3rd party exclusives just waiting for a time like E3  to be revealed. Nintendo’s North American President did state that there are other partnerships that they were not ready to reveal yet. Does this mean that Wii U is getting games like Battlefield 4? I wouldn’t count on it cause EA is the devil and they eat small children, what?! Where did that come from? Anyways i think it would be far more interesting if the Wii U got more exclusive titles as apposed to some bad ports of PS3/360 titles. Don’t get me wrong, Nintendo needs the Resident Evil’s and Skyrim’s of the industry but Nintendo does best when its content is unique and offers something that cant be found anywhere else.



Go eat. Take a dump. Take a nap. Come back and it will still be loading.

Call me a liar if you want but i once waited over two hours for my Wii U to return to the main menu. It never happened so i just unplugged the damn thing. Usually my Wii U can take about 5 minutes to load the main screen and that’s usually after using the Hulu or Netflix apps. Regardless this is unacceptable. Nintendo has already mentioned that they have two major updates coming in the spring of 2013 which will deal with the slow os. Good, because as of right now things are pretty bad. Why did it take me 12 hours to download Tekken on the Wii U eShop and only 30 minutes to download install and boot up Assassins Creed on Steam? Hmmm. Come on Nintendo fix this!

UPDATED  5/8/2013

Ok, so Nintendo did a good job at fixing this one recently. The OS is slow as hell anymore thanks to the Spring update. There is still the summer update to look forward to and i wonder what changes to the Os that will bring.


Why don’t people know what the Wii U is? Nintendo doesn’t advertise that’s why! Sure the core gamers know what Wii U is but the audience that Nintendo is trying to get in touch with doesn’t. Now this could be because Nintendo realized that they don’t actually have an awesome game line up as of yet. Or it could be that they wanted us core users to get the console first and avoid shortages. Maybe the Wii U campaign will kick in to gear around the summer and winter seasons since most core users who were going to pick one up early has done so. What ever the case may be, Nintendo needs a great advertising campaign to sell the Wii U. Especially during the holiday season when Nintendo consoles tend to clean up.


Don’t kid yourself. If Nintendo doesn’t make corrections now and blow us all away at E3 then all that NintenDOOMED talk that you all hate so much may become a very real situation. Now i’m not saying that Nintendo as a company will be doomed but the Wii U will be severely hurt and may not recover. E3 is “Ride or Die” time for Nintendo and its new console. They can bring the heat or get left out in the cold by Sony and Microsoft. That’s it.

As always let me know your thoughts on the matter and don’t forget to let me know what makes

Wii U Mad!